Medium

I've been watching this show, Long Island Medium, about a woman who connects with spirit.  And because she is able to hear the voices of the dead, they employ her pretty unrelentingly to communicate.  Not because she's some angelic, spiritually enlightened being - but because she can hear them.  All it takes for her to use the gift is to simply accept it.  And the gift is simply that she can hear what others cannot.

When my father died, I felt sure his tortured soul had left the body and left my life and moved on the settling his own complicated karma.  I was glad for an end to the constant chaos that swirled around him, but shocked at the sudden end to our complicated relationship.  Not regrets exactly, but a lot of unfinished business and questions that can never be answered.

I was with a friend, a medium, once, when my father came through.  And she said he was very funny, and said everything was really just an accident, and nothing that happened was intended, and he was sorry.   And, except for him showing up in my dreams, sort of familiar but not someone I really know, I let it go at that.  This unknowable man left surrounded in mystery, just gone suddenly.

But I watch Long Island Medium and I wonder where he is, that poor, confused, lost soul.  What happened when he left us, and to what degree he would like to send a message but no one can hear his voice?  What if someone could hear him, could tell me what he has to say?  Would it change things?  Would it make a difference?  Do the departed really watch over us?  Has he been trying to help, but he couldn't?

I've never believed in my loved ones watching over me, but maybe they all are, keeping me company, silently supporting me, proud and happy at who I am?  How comforting.  For me and for them.