When I Die

I attended a funeral today.  I haven't been much for life cycle events, which means I'm completely unschooled in my society's customs for how to handle these things.  I don't know what people typically do them or how, so I always feel a little like I'm visiting a foreign country when I attend such events.  But I'm committed to being fully human, and understand you can't scrimp on this stuff.

The service was simple and touching, and made me realize what kind of funeral I want.  I think cremation is good for my body, but I'm not sure I care.  For my service though, I want laughter.  Not sad laughing, but real laughing.  I hope my life helped people always connect through laughter, and elevate anything with this most divine experience.

I want a montage of all my favorite movie/tv clips, from Office Space to Best in Show, with a couple powerfully touching scenes thrown in.  And I want people to tell any story they want to share about their time with me.  And I want a sound track, because music is the sound track of my life, and songs evoke more feeling than any spoken word ever does.

And I want people to feel ok being together and talking and hanging out and whatever else happens.  Because what divides us so much is not knowing what to say or what's ok, and that's how I always feel at these events.  I'm fine talking about death and dying and grief and loss - I just don't know what is customary and traditional. 

I think it's wonderful to be able to be with people and not feel like everyone must be comforted or consoled ~ sometimes it's a great show of respect to just let people feel what they are feeling and be present.  Presence can be everything.  Isn't this what the unconditional love we feel from pets is?  Their presence?  Not saying, not helping, just being present. 

So - laughter and truth and music and presence.  That's what I want on the occasion of my passing, and on every day of my life.