Monday, May 28, 2012

I Get Paid in Tears

Spent Sunday in religious services, bathed in spiritual intention and ancient wisdom.  The musician-in-residence, following this extraordinary service on Sunday morning, said to me "you are a cryer."  And I denied this, telling him that anyone who knows me would say otherwise.  He pointed to the many wet Kleenex in my purse as proof that he was right.  And then very sweetly said he gets paid in tears and would consider the service a success.

I don't know what happened this weekend, what brought the tears.  This magical musician carries G*d's sweetness and compassion in every prayer he sings, and that's not a small thing.  It might be the biggest thing actually.  Because I usually feel so alone in my relationship with G*d, so uncertain if others also perceive His sweet and loving presence, His warmth and personal attention.

During this particular service, in remembrance of those who have passed, I felt G*d's presence before all of us, His huge embrace, His watching over each one of us with so much hopeful encouragement that we could slow down our lives and our minds and our thoughts at least long enough to feel His presence.  I could feel the glow of His purity and love surrounding us as a community and individually.

And I could feel His compassion for each one of our loved ones who left this world unclear, uncertain, unknowing of what was to come, and concerned for those left behind.  And that He greets each one with such tenderness, guiding them back to the home of His heart, and then on to the rest of their journey.  I could see it - every touch of gentle kindness, a loving-kindness that we are so rarely capable of, a kind of total love and acceptance that says 'you belong to Me, I am yours and you are Mine...welcome home."

I could see all of that.  And then to hear it reflected in the prayers, in the community, in the comforting touch and companionship of others was overwhelming.  I'm not sure I've ever felt comforted before by human beings, but in this moment, with G*d's presence so strong, it was their hearts and hands and words through which He worked.

This is a miracle.  When the limitations of human beings are no limit at all.  When the divisions and differences fall away, and all that's left are open hearts and G*d can move freely in each one of us, His light and love spilling all over the place...this is a miracle.

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