Friday, August 4, 2006

Old Habits...

Old habits are so hard to break. That's why it's critical to put new and better ones in their place, 'cause otherwise it feels like there's nothing left. I imagine creating new habits and leaving old ones behind to be like action movie sequences.

You know that part in the movie where (Superman or Spiderman or The Matrix or whatever other hero movie there is) has to jump from one building to the next? And it's an impossible jump? No ordinary human being can make this kind of leap without getting splattered all over the place? And yet, somehow the hero manages this amazing leap successfully and without injury?

I think moving away from the past, into the present and through to the future feels like that kind of leap. It requires some super-human effort, and then once that's set in motion, you just have to leap into it with absolutely every fiber of your being. And you can't hesitate or slow down even for a second. And that stupid blind faith and the force of your own conviction enables you to make that great leap.

'Cause if you just stay where you are, paring away the old, but not moving into the new, you begin to feel emptier and emptier, bereft even of the comfort of your own pain. So moving forward is non-negotiable, unless you want to slip back into the quiet discomfort of the past ~ into old habits that don't fit you or your life anymore.

It takes a long time to get to the point of leaping, and just a split second to make that move. And it's terrifying and exhilerating and once you're on the other side, you can't believe that you've just become the superhero in the movie of your own life. Impossible to believe, except that you've just done it yourself!

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